Innocence is Bliss

I wish I could take a picture of this feeling... It would be so nice to share with the world how absolutely happy it makes me.

I've been focusing on my kids lately. Really studying them, taking in where they are in their different phases of life.. trying my best to memorize the little things about them because before too much longer, they'll have moved on.

Stevie... my sweet girl. I've watched as she struggles to remember her many responsibilities... juggling 7th grade classes, remembering to do her homework... waking herself up in the morning, caring for her sisters, handling chores... trying to remind herself to take initiative in an effort to make us even more proud of her. I came home to find her progress report on my laptop in the office and there were all A's and 1 B on it. She texts me to ask if she can buy heels to go with her dress for the dance tomorrow night... My sweet girl. My heart swells at the thought of my first, greatest accomplishment. I'm not screwing it up!

Then there's Ava. In the afternoons when I get off work, I have to go pick her up from gymnastics, then trek over and pick up Victoria from daycare. It's been warm this week, so we roll the windows down and turn the music up. She sings... and I can't help but smile when I look out the mirror and see her little hands surfing the wind outside the car window. I've noticed that Ava takes in the world with the depth and curiosity of her mother. She opens her mouth wide to taste snowflakes.... she dances in the rain... She feels everything with her heart.... her whole heart. I love this about her!

Bringing up the rear, is Victoria. What can I say? My baby girl has gone away... almost. I still cringe with emotional excitement when I see her cuddled up with her blankie at night. I'll tuck them in a second time before I go to sleep - long after their eyes have closed... I take a second to look at her. I study how long her hair has gotten.... I listen to her little breath, so quiet and deep. I hold her hand and kiss her forehead and I almost cry. She doesn't need me to rub her back for 15 minutes anymore... She hasn't taken a pacifier in years. She's been out of diapers forever. She's growing too fast - I'm not ready!

Even though our days are repetitive and long... full of school, daycare, work, gymnastics, chores, etc... we still pause for birthday parties, Christmas, friends, the park, laughter, a little bit of trouble now and then... and the sweet faces of my children remind me daily that I wouldn't trade this life for anything.