I sit in somber silence today, grieving for a mother who lost her only son just 5 years ago. I'm digging deep for the right words to say, but I know that NO words will ease her pain. So rather, I choose to celebrate this moment by reflecting on my own losses... the ones who have traumatized me, torn me open from the inside, gutted me at times... left me hollow and broken.
I sound like a madwoman, don't I? Celebrating death... what right do I have to be happy that someone is gone? Compared to the alternative, knowing that they're no longer suffering is all the reason in the world that I need to embrace their departure (and subsequent birth) into the afterlife.
That's what it is, after all... Death... it's birth. Think about it. We were born into this life. Don't you ever wonder where we came from? What other world we were in before this? I smile at the possibilities... Mothers... think about when people crowded around you as you brought your babies into the world... surrounded in love to welcome this new life into your circle.
Fast forward to their departure... think of the people who surrounded them... in love. Selfishly, we grieve because we don't want to give them up - but that isn't our decision to make. God has called them to another life. So we love them as best we can, as much as we can, the only way we know how... and we hold their hand... and it's scary! We watch their physical body fall apart. We watch the trauma first hand as they travel through that birth canal into the new world... and when it's all said and done, we're left with nothing but the emotional reminder and empty place at the dinner table where they once sat... and for as long as we need, we grieve their absence - but eventually... hopefully... we can embrace the fact that they've moved to the next life, and they're waiting for us there.
Bon, not sure if you're reading this. My heart hurts for you, my friend. I know that you'll probably never reach that point... What you described at the end with Jed is far from anything any mother should ever, ever have to go through. The only thing I can think is, Jed fought hard not to leave his mommy... but still, God called him to the next life. I love you, friend... and I do thank God for Jed's journey... that little boy is the reason so many others have half a chance... he's the reason other's are able to smile while they fight. He's the reason this girl in Texas is so inspired and moved by his momma! I know I'm not the only one that has been touched by his 6 years!
"To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die..."
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