Someone, and then...

Jackpot! The gold at the end of the rainbow, following the long storm. Something found, once thought gone forever. A VHS tape, about 30 minutes long. Snippets of my vacation to my aunt's house when I was a young girl. My uncle is videotaping... I'm sporting what might be the WORST hairstyle I ever had as a child. . . and Vicki is young. She's in a bikini for much of it, with her hair tied back out of her face. Sunbathing. Outdoors. In her yard, in Wimberley. There are horses... Dakota, Pretzel, Buckshot, Arbol, Festus... dogs - Yoda, Blutus, Jaybo... my father graced us with his presence for at least 5 minutes of pure bliss. I stared so hard at the TV, never blinking - not wanting to miss a second.

The harder I stared at these images... the more confused I became. These people were in my life. They were the most important people I've ever known, ever loved... more than everything. And then? now? Dust... remnants of Earth. Their soul, just a breath that has gone away. For so many years, they filled time with laughter and beauty.... and just like that - away.

They touched so many lives... like meteors that fell to the Earth from the sky - they left craters behind. One of them is smack dab in the middle of my chest! Did people know that this angel would leave us? Is that why there are thousands of pictures of her? She was so spectacular that so many people saw her and knew her and remember her just the same way... this bright, shining light. They flocked to her. They looked up to her. They gathered strength and courage and guidance from her. These people - they all mourn the same. Like moths, fluttering around a porch light that has been turned off. Where does the warmth come from now?