Leap of Faith

We said hello in 1998. They were typed words on computers that were thousands of miles apart. One in Texas... one in Paris, France. In 2005, we acted unpredictably and decided to bridge the gap between us... Nicolas flew to Shreveport to meet me in person. The connection was immediate. The longing when he was gone was unbearable. He came back a month later. He left, 2 weeks after that.

I could explain the crazy whirlwhind that our relationship became over the next 6 months... January-June of 2006. I SHOULD explain it, and maybe I will, eventually. Our relationship encountered much more than any other relationship should. It was one of the biggest tests of my life. In the end, I put it in God's hands and I let Him guide me home.

This day, 7 years ago, the following conversation happened online.

Jen: if I was there... if I was in front of you right now, holding both your hands and looking into your face and I said "marry me." what would you say?

Nico: i ll jump

Nico: oui

Jen: jump where?

Nico: to the unknown

Jen: why?

Nico: because i want it ...

Jen: so then let me ask again now... is it all or nothing?

Nico: i can't let it turn to nothing ... so it is all , because i feel it

It wasn't the actual proposal. Nico proposed to me in May, at my aunt's house... but I was far from ready. I can tell you here, and now... before the world... I hurt him! We hurt one another, deeply. But we overcame that and found such love and happiness within this life that we've built together. 

The conversation, posted above... what I asked Nico on that day... is what God may as well have been asking me. Am I ready to jump? Can I give up who I was and trust Him to guide me into who I am to become? My life changed forever that day. Not on the day we met... not on the day that we married... not on the days we had our children. It started with that leap of faith... holding hands and agreeing to do this thing. For life, baby!