And now...

Today, I feel about as empty as my fenced in back yard... with the wind blowing straight through it. I'm married, with three children - and don't get me wrong, we're a HAPPY family. The swingset in my backyard is sturdy and fun... but the wind still blows right through it. 

I left my job, and my life, to come "home" with the hope that I'd be surrounded in friends and family that I hadn't seen in so long. 90% of the time, I'm sitting alone in my living room - visiting my friends on FACEBOOK. I hate social media. I want someone to go to Sonic with me for a slush, or to the movies, or out to lunch. 

I miss my Emily. I miss our 2 hour lunches and shopping at Babies 'R' Us or Target.  I miss Keri and Heather. I miss Rachel and Debbie and Amy. I miss my husband, who now has to work up to and over 60 hours a week to keep our family going. I miss working. (I do NOT miss the military.)

I have friends on Facebook who live near here, who always wished they could have visited Germany but couldn't because of time or money or both. I've had only 2 friends make the drive to my house here in San Angelo since we've lived here. "Friends." With every passing day, they turn into names on a list. 

How ironic, that I feel more alone now - surrounded in "friends" and family right here in Texas... than I did during the 6 years I lived in Europe.