And Life Goes On...

Next month makes a year. I've already survived a year. A year without that unmistakable voice, the sound of her laugh... the excitement in her heart to hear her nieces on the phone. A year without my Aunt Vicki. May 27, 2010 was the last time I talked to Vicki on the phone. I was preparing for Memorial Day weekend in France with my family, and she was getting ready to go on her vacation to Colorado. I called ahead to wish her well - tell her I hope she has fun!! We exchanged I love you's and then we were off.

July 18th is when she died.

I was pregnant with a baby Victoria. A sweet little infant that Nicolas and I created (and a baby that I purposefully planned to name after my aunt.) She was born, and when the excitement wore off - I sat alone in a hospital room with a baby that she'd never know. A baby I wanted more than ANYTHING to share with her. I felt so empty then...

Fast forwarding... 8 months since Victoria's birth and I often look at her and wonder maybe... JUST maybe Vicki might be inside her somewhere - carrying on. I wouldn't mind. A small glimmer of her life mixed in with us every day here in my home.

Last week, I finally received a load of scrapbooks that she'd left for me. Eager to see all pictures, I sifted through every page with lightning speed! I did so well... I didn't cry until. until. until I ran across that picture. That picture of her as an infant, and I saw my baby Victoria looking back at me. It was then that I knew "life goes on."

Victoria in 2011

Victoria in 1951