Reverence

In my previous blog, I'd mentioned shedding a tear at church... There's something about confiding raw emotion to total strangers that reduces me to such a state.

In our Sunday School class, we were discussing Holiness, Reverence, and Obedience. I'm not a biblical scholar, so I had to look at the little sidebars in the study book for examples of each. I'm so glad that one of the other ladies turned the conversation back to reverence - because I had a story to share... I'd experienced my own moment just last year!

As many of you, my readers, know... last year I lost my aunt to oral cancer. One day I was feeling a need to be close to Jesus, so I took a drive out to the Abtei Himmerod (a very OLD old church) and walked inside. I'd only been a couple of times, as a "tourist." I walked in to take pictures and oooh and aaaah at the architecture. This time was different. This time I walked in and took a seat in the last row and closed my eyes. The silence within the walls was deafening. I could hear my heart beat. I could feel life flowing through my veins. I closed my eyes and fought the urge to cry... It was nearing 5pm, and worshippers were beginning to enter for the service that would begin soon.

I was hoping that my spot at the back of the church would go unnoticed. I opened my eyes back up and watched as people filed in. I watched as not one, or two, but ALL of the people who came in to worship, stopped behind the last row and knelt before their King. They acknowledged that he was the Almighty. They showed reverence before coming in to be with Him.

I was horrified... shocked... ashamed of myself. Who was I to just plop my hind end down on a seat and think that I could just BE there. "Kickin' it" in His house? I quickly made the sign of the cross over my chest and kissed my fingertips and avoided all eye contact with the Jesus hanging on the cross at the front of the room... tucked my tail between my legs and scurried out. I apologized profusely for a few miles for being so ignorant. Again.... who was I to think that of all the comanders I'd ever stood at attention for, or all the losers I'd ever saluted - I'd never thought to kneel before my one true King...

This is yet another reason I'm choosing to educate myself about Him. I want to learn to show Him that reverence... I want to understand His purpose, and my life. I want my children to know Him. I pray that this becomes a permanent change in my life, for the better... and not just some phase I'm going through! Time will tell...