Birth Stories - The Final Chapter

After Ava was born, we gave away everything that she'd outgrown... I was fairly certain that Ava was going to be the last baby. She outgrew her clothes, so I donated them to Airman's Attic on base. She outgrew her crib, so I sold it to a lady who needed it. I watched as she learned to crawl, and then walk, and then talk...

Then I deployed to Iraq. I spent 4.5 months in the summer heat of the desert, supporting a war that appears to never end. When I returned, a lot of my friends and people I worked with were pregnant, getting pregnant, or had babies. All it took was cuddling ONE of them as a newborn and I was hooked. It's like smelling new car smell - it stings your nose and drags you in. THEN, you need a new car :P

I had one clear reason for needing another baby. I wanted a namesake for my Aunt Vicki. I didn't know for sure that I'd have a girl, but if I did - her name would be Victoria. You see, my aunt was the last person left on my father's side of the family, and she was dying from cancer. I needed someone to carry her name, her memory.

So Nicolas and I sat down and looked at our budget. We bought a new van - we needed more room if we were going to have one more. In January, we decided that we'd try ONCE for a baby... if it happened, then it was God's will. January was the month we needed to try, because I wanted another October baby... My other two girls were born in October, so I wanted this one to be as well. For 10 days, we "tried" and when I was late the next month, I tested and smiled as it came back positive! I ordered flowers for my aunt... 3 red roses with a card attached that read "Happy Valentine's Day! Love Stevie, Ava, and Baby #3." She was overjoyed.

In April, my aunt was scheduled to undergo some pretty major surgery. Before she left for the hospital, I told her about our plan to name the baby Victoria if it turned out to be a girl. She was excited! Unfortunately, she never got to have the surgery that could have saved her life. Timing is everything in these situations and time just wasn't in her favor for this :(

May 27th turned out to be the last time I'd ever talk to my aunt. I called her for a quick chat before we left for France for Memorial Day weekend. When I got back, she'd be on her way to Colorado for vacation. It was in Colorado that her health rapidly declined. She was rushed back to the hospital in TX where she would evetually pass away. July 18, 2010 was the last day she'd ever welcome into her life. The rest of my pregnancy was bittersweet. I'd wanted desperately to fly her over prior to the birth so she could be in the room when her namesake was born. Now, I had to have faith that she'd be present, just not as I'd hoped.

My third trimester was utterly painful. I suffered from SPD, with a gap of 11.2mm in my pubic bone. I had severe edema in my legs and ankles. I worked to the very last day. On 18 October, I had my final doctor's appt, where they told me they would induce me that evening due to rising blood pressure. I went home, packed the girls up so they could spend the night with a friend, and went back to the hospital to be admitted.

7pm - I was hooked up to monitors and given a cocktail to drink to induce labor. Previously, I'd had ZERO contractions, but the doctor said that my cervix was relatively soft. Once labor started it would go quickly. The cocktail was a mix of orange juice, marmalade, and champagne. I hadn't made it through half the pitcher before the monitor showed a range of small and medium contractions. An hour later, the doc sent me to my room for the night, telling me that the cocktail wouldn't cause actual labor - it was just supposed to ripen my cervix for the events of the next day. At 0700, they said they'd give me the actual medication to finish the job. Little did EVERYONE know, we wouldn't need their medicine the next day :P

1030pm, I'm laying in bed and contractions are getting stronger and stronger. Poor Nicolas was in the bed next to mine, trying to get some sleep. I didn't want to bother him, but I knew that we needed to get down the hall. We walked down and I asked to be checked for dilation because I was quite certain the baby was on the way. Sure enough, I was at 3.5cm. They called for the epidural guy to come in and it was ON!

Midnight. Epidural is in. I keep waiting for it to kick in, but I could still feel everything but the contractions. I don't know how that happened or what kinda drugs they use over here in Germany. I was SO worried I was gooin to feel everything when Victoria came out. It happened so rapidly though... 0130am, three pushes, blammo... the baby is here. I just remember extreme pressure. I remember the midwife with her hands in my crotch and I was so certain she was ripping me in half, so I was trying to push her away. I remember them telling me to stop pushing, and not being able to stop!

I remember talking to Victoria the minute she was born. They put her on my chest, and I immediately saw her blonde hair (my aunt was blonde.) Her color was beautiful, she had a cute little round head... she was... Victoria. And then I was sad :( I wanted my Aunt Vicki there with me. And then I was happy.... I had a new baby, and my husband was there, and soon - her sisters.

She was born on her due date, not a minute before. I giggled silently to myself as that was just like a Victoria I knew - to never break the rules. Her sisters came the next day to meet her. Oh, how in awe Ava was to hold the tiny baby that had been in mommy's tummy. The tiny baby that would sit in the carseat she'd seen in the van for weeks prior. The tiny baby that would swing in the living room and sleep in the crib and wear the diapers that were in the cabinet for her. And how in love Stevie was with someone who couldn't talk back to her, and someone who wouldn't yet crawl in her room and bother her :D

Oh how not ready I was for all of this. I can say I've cried once or twice at the feeling of being overwhelmed. Ava's having such a hard time adjusting to being the middle child. I can't seem to get a grasp on a routine or a schedule, and one of THOSE is so desperately needed to keep things in order around here. We're exhausted from lack of sleep. Bless Stevie's little heart, she's truly pitched in and helped in EVERY corner of the house... from bathing Ava, to feeding Victoria, to never forgetting to make her bed on weekday mornings :D

How sweet thou art...

Isn't she absolutely BEAUTIFUL??

Proud (tired) daddy!

I love the look on Stevie's face here....

My beautiful angels!

Notice Ava, with her baby doll. She watched everything I do, and then she goes to practice on her babies :D

The long awaited moment...

Here, Ava is giving instruction on Barbie play, while watching Playhouse Disney

Believe it or not, I've got pictures of all three of the girls sleeping like this!

first FAMILY photo

Bright eyed

I love her fuzz...

I can say for sure that Victoria is the final chapter of this book we call life. And what a beautiful final chapter this turned out to be!