Who Will I Call?

Once upon a time, I had a Sunday ritual... laundry is on Sundays. Commissary trips, floor sweeping... all the stuff you put off during the week, I do it on Sunday! (who needs rest?) And it was all made possible with a phone call to my favorite aunt in the whole wide world. I'd save up a week's worth of stories and call her to share in every heart swelling moment, or every enraged complaint, etc... all while folding clothes or making beds. An hour or more would pass by as we shared in these conversations, and before I knew it my chores would be over and I'd be out of news to tell.

May 27th. That was the last conversation I'll ever have with my favorite aunt in the whole wide world. For you see, cancer is WINNING again damnit. She's lying speechless in a hospital bed, and there's nothing I can possibly do to make it better for her. She's too weak to email me... too swollen to talk to me. Too much pride to see me in person.

It's not her impending death that hurts. It's the impending void. Who will I call on Sunday now? There's no one else that was more proud of my girls than her. No one else I wanted to call first... just her! I'm so mad, and so sad... I did my chores today, but they took forever - and believe it or not I was in a bad mood when I was done because I didn't have her to share my life with.

**sigh** One more slice of cake, some milk... then bed.