Everything

I sat here today, and had an epiphany. I take my life for granted, every single day. And no, this isn't a post about how I'm going to change and try harder or do better or act differently about anything. I'm still going to live just exactly as I am. But I REALIZED... sitting on this couch... that I have everything.

I looked up, and out the window. I stared at the icicle lights hanging on the front of the house, and I smiled... knowing that my awesome husband came home from school the other day and hung those for me. My eyes flashed across the room to the Christmas tree, neatly decorated and my heart smiled and warmed as I took in the moments that my family and I have spent decorating that thing, year after year. Grumbling as the littles don't spread out the ornaments... snapping as the lights burn out and leave 1/2 a pre-lit tree, NOT lit! But here it is now, in all it's Christmas glory... decorated and twinkling and warming my heart!

I looked on the wall, at the shadows of my children jumping on the trampoline out back. Kids. Mine. 3. Healthy. Happy. STUBBORN! Laughing. Warm. Fed.

I sit here now, alone in this living room with my twinkling tree... a cat curled up on the ottoman - protected from the winter temps, warm. The dog is sprawled under the Christmas tree, snoring and twitching as he dreams of chasing... birds, perhaps?

I look around this room... at the things we have acquired. Lego projects, board games, books, DVDs, furniture... a kitchen table that sits silent, hours after dinner is through. The tick of the clock in the kitchen... like a pulse, reminding me that I am still living and this is my life and I have EVERYTHING.

I complain. I do. I whine, and I'm sometimes sad and depressed and I miss my old life from time to time... and I miss Europe tremendously - but one thing is certain in life, and that is that life goes on! I embrace what I have now and I'm SO GRATEFUL to know that every new hour that I visit... I do it with EVERYTHING. A husband. Children. Pets. Things. A warm heart. A breath. A full belly.

I'm rambling. This post is more for me :) so that I can go back when necessary and remind myself that I SAW it today. And for the first time, in a long time... I was me :) Happy. and free.