In my life, I've had 3 babies. No wait, back up. In high school, I thought I was "fat" because I had like .5 an inch (maybe even .25) of skin hanging over the waist of my pants. If I bent over, that skin pooched a little more. If I'd only KNOWN that I was beautifully skinny, long legged with gorgeous blonde hair when I was that age!!! (I would've gotten myself into much more trouble probably....) But no, I was a teenager who thought she was fat.
I had to gain 9 lbs in order to join the military. They told me I was underweight. So at 117lbs, I signed on the dotted line and became part of the world's greatest Air Force. I was 135lbs by the time I left basic training. I gained 70 lbs with ALL THREE pregnancies. (don't worry, I lost a little after each baby...) But I'm sitting at a hefty 185lbs right now and I'm really struggling hard to get it off.
I had Stevie in 2002. I was 200 lbs even on the day she was born. Fortunately, 40 lbs of that was water weight and baby and blood and holy CRAP - I lost 40 lbs in about 3 weeks. But what does that leave me at? 160. I deployed to Diego Garcia in 2006 and took up running and I lost the additional 30 lbs and was sitting at a great 130 lbs when I got back. (man I was smokin'. Skinny, blonde, tan... a MILF yo!)
In 2007 I had Ava. Add another 70 lbs (on top of the 10 or 15 I gained from being married and living indoors because of the cold climate in Germany!) I was over 200. And it wasn't all water. I deployed in 2009 and got back down to 165.
In 2010, I had Victoria. A whopping 215lbs or so is what I topped the scales at when I was induced with her. I've only lost 30 lbs as of today. These 30 lbs have not been easy. I struggled a bit with depression after I had the baby. I had a complete loss of motivation. I miss my aunt desperately. There were days when I had to peel myself out of my bed because all I wanted was to pull the covers over my head and stay there until it was nighttime and I could sleep even more. In short - I wanted to give up. Not die, but just... give up.
I don't know what it was that woke up inside of me... but something did. A small spark that brought everything to life. I hired a personal trainer (who I love DEARLY!) and I started on this trek to freedom. My career is in jeopardy because of new fitness testing rules, and if I fail my test two more times I'm in real jeopardy of being kicked out of the military. So I'm dedicated to working out, eating better, improving my lifestyle.
Unfortunately, it means more time away from my family. This is a HUGE mountain I have to climb and no one can do it for me, but me. My personal trainer gives me awesome stars on my calendar every time I work out. And she knows JUST what to say to make me feel SO BAD when I skip the gym, or I don't eat the way I should. But she's brought me such a long way in only 5 weeks. I'm a completely different person than I was at the end of August.
Anyway... blogging is on the back burner while I'm pursuing the new me. I'll update as experiences happen, and time allows. But for now - it's blood, sweat and tears. My success in life depends on it! :D
No comments:
Post a Comment